Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
