2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
