I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We talked him into tasing himself.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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