we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just high enough for therapy.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
