Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
