bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
