There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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