Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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