I just saw a hot homeless man
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize