Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
