YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
