im about as happy as oj after his trial
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
