Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
