So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
