I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
