whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
