I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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