Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
