My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
