This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
