waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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