Christians are straight up FREAKS
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
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i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
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I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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