Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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