Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
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Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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