Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
im holly from the hills drunk
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
