I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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