I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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