it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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