Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
