please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.