so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.