wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea