is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style