I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"