break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.