Welp...herpes.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
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