glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
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Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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