the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
