omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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