please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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