if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
