i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Even my vagina gasped.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think a kid would responsible me up
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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