its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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