He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
