I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
