I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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