Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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