me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
