its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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