they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
