my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize