dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
