Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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