I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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