the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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