no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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