I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
