It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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