I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
