He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
