You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
