i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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