so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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