do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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