What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
