I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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