ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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