a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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