Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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