she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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