pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
