i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
